At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
