you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
