so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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