Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
