Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
