I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
there is puke in my bra ... again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
