It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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