Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
