K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
