I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
