I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
