my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
