i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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