Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
