Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
