That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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