My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
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