i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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