3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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