Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
