we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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