Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
