just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
