i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
