I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize