I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
