good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
