I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Even my vagina gasped.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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