so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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