if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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