they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
