she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
