why didn't you poke me back
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
