I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
