i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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