Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
