The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
