why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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