why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
