my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
