Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize