I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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