Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
