He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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