I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
