and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
