I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
