It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
