You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
