omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
