Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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