I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Semen is not good for contacts.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
