dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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