I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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