weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
