I think my vagina is haunted
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
