Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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